


Green and Brown and Black and Gray

by jargonelle



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jargonelle/pseuds/jargonelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene. Alec visits Joshua in between Dawg Day Afternoon and She Ain't Heavy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green and Brown and Black and Gray

**Author's Note:**

> Written for H/C bingo, prompt 'body hatred'.
> 
> Title from Mr Jones by Counting Crows.

Joshua had painted Max a hundred times. He could picture her in his head – her royal blue stripes of duty and conviction wrapped tight around her heart of vibrant reds and pinks, closed off from the rest of the hostile canvas by a solid silver and black border – but it never came out quite right.

He knew himself better though.

He slashed through the paper, jagged tears that could easily be teeth marks. He painted a swirl of green and brown and black and gray, irregular shapes too large to be fully contained in one frame, too big and ugly for the world to comprehend. His stupidity was splashed all over it for anyone to see.

If he looked like Max or Alec, like the upstairs people and the ordinaries, Annie would still be alive.

If he looked like Max or Alec, like the upstairs people and the ordinaries, he wouldn’t be trapped inside, where even the windows posed a threat. He wouldn’t be helpless, stuck waiting for Max to take care of him, he instead could help.

He hated Father then, for a moment, for making him that way.

Angry at himself, at White, he howled. Loud. Didn’t care if the neighbors heard.

“Whoa, easy there, Josh. Don’t you think you’ve had enough exposure for one week?”

Alec. He slipped in smoothly, quiet and unnoticed, the way Joshua never could.

“Not fair,” he said, and Alec apparently didn’t need an explanation because he just nodded.

“Max sent you some food. Thought you might be hungry by now. I tried some on the way over, it’s good.”

Joshua didn’t want it. He wanted Annie.

“Or I could look into selling some more of your paintings for you, get your work out there. Sure could use the cash… Not the ones of Annie of course.” Alec moved over to look at Joshua’s work in progress. “Woo, boy, not this one either. No one’s gonna pay to have this depressing thing on their wall.”

“Joshua.”

“Excuse me?”

“This… it’s Joshua. Screaming. Running away. Annie’s dead because of me. Should have listened.” He picked up the pen he used to sign his work, but instead of writing his name neat and hidden in the corner, he wrote it large and bold, center stage.

“No wait, no, man, no,” Alec grabbed his shoulder, Joshua shook him free, Didn’t need to feel the lie as well as hear it. “Annie’s dead because of White. Trust me.”

“T-shirts with my face on. People disgusted. People laughing. White knew.”

“He did it because he hates transgenics, all of us.” Alec raised an arm up as if to scratch the back of his head but aborted it at the last moment. “Look, er, some guys from Manticore, not the X-series, the ones less able to blend in, they’ve been heading to Terminal City, hear they’re setting up some kind of base there.”

This was news. This was hope. “Like Joshua?”

“They’re soldiers. There’s no power, no heat, no water, probably not much of anything. You really want to give up having your own TV?”

“Could go outside. Could speak to people. Could help.”

“Listen, Josh. It’s rough there, I’ve been, I know. Think about it, ok? Don’t do anything without talking to Max. She’d miss you. And she’d kill me.”

“Won’t disappear on Little Fella. Promise.”

“All right. Now.” Alec clapped Joshua on the chest and then flung himself onto the couch. He turned on the television, flipped straight to one of the music channels he loved. Tricks and treats and a solid drum beat. “Wanna join me?”

The last time he’d watched TV, he, Max and Alec had curled up watching the news. That was bad, this was better, a good memory for before he moved away.

Joshua rooted through the bag Alec had brought and found some chips. He sat down beside Alec and let Alec steal them away, just to prove he could.

The music was loud. The pictures were colorful. Joshua took advantage of Alec’s fascination to reclaim his chips.

“Things have to change,” Joshua said. He couldn’t stay in Father’s house when his people were out struggling in the world.

Alec thought about it for a moment. He nodded slowly, and then smirked. “Makes life interesting.”

They sat there, together, until the morning.


End file.
